Envy can be a treacherous lecher, devouring you and your good intentions. It can make the wise foolish and the fools dangerous. Some envy is thought of as good, such as the success of a good friend. You’re happy for them and say “Man, I’m envious of what you’ve done. Nice work.” It’s a complement.
Envy can be a motivator. If you see a successful person, it might prod you to worker harder and smarter. Envy can come in many forms.
Many men envy others. It could be for that other guy’s good looks, athleticism, money, nice car, lifestyle, etc. However, the most common object of envy is beautiful women.
Nothing will bring a beady glance from the corner of another man’s eyes like being with a beautiful woman.
Who cares about the Lamborghini, look at that girl, one might say. Sure, money can bring those things with it, but it all revolves around the woman.
The real coup de grace is being the guy with the beautiful woman. After his beautiful woman is noticed like a large elephant in a room, the eyes usually fall on her male accomplice. Likely, he’s being sized-up by the other men, intentionally or not.
Enter me. I’m that guy. I may sound arrogant, but I can make this a legitimate claim.
You ever have the experience of watching other men look at your girlfriend or wife and slyly nudge friends to look? What about another guy turning around, suddenly stunned by the beautiful woman in front of him and uncontrollably blurts out “Oh my God, that chick’s hot.”
It’s an odd kind of flattering. While she’s oblivious, I notice.
Yes. It’s happened. I’m the guy that you envy, but please don’t: I’m just lucky.
I’m not threatened. We have something else that may make you envy me more or be happy for us and respect us: We’re happily in love, too. Any action that is envy-motivated and aimed at dividing us would fall flat because of this.
Back on task, I love being that guy. I was a guy that could never get a date because I was either a chump or too busy with work and school to be able to really pursue the kind of woman like my wife.
Lucky for me, my wife’s story mirrors that of the Ugly Duckling. She was always beautiful to me, but she didn’t really “blossom” until a couple of years into our marriage.
We had a huge fight and it turned out we both felt like we’d want more honesty in our relationship. She had withheld her true beauty for some bizarre convictions that were subconsciously passed down from her mom. It wasn’t a doctrine that was ever preached in church, but a hold-over from her mom that would not let her wear makeup as a teenager. It took her parents' divorce, a step-mom and a couple of step-sisters to help with that at 17.
I told her that I wanted her to be something different than she was. I told her several reasons of why I loved her and what I wanted out of our marriage: Happiness, a family, a solid relationship. Then I did the unthinkable.
I demanded she be as beautiful as she could be. I demanded that she capitalize more on her seductive and voluptuous curves all for me. I wanted her to be my fembot, dream woman, goddess, and personal Victoria Secret model.
Her response? With a surprised grin, she said that was what she had wanted to be since she was a little girl. Even more so since we started dating. She needed me to tell her that it was okay to be beautiful. I happily obliged. Strangely, we talked about bikini contests; she wanted that type of sexiness. She already had the body for it: She just needed to embrace it.
I earned the envy projected at me by other men. I’m proud of her. Some may think that I must have money or be somebody important.
The reality is that we live paycheck to paycheck right now. I drive a 4Runner with almost 200,000 miles and she drives a Civic with more than 165,000 miles. We still rent an apartment.
I know of several men in similar positions. We’re all very happy with our married lives, not that beauty is everything, but we have that bond: We’re married to or dating beautiful women. It’s a special fraternity. I recommend everyone work on joining.
I don’t have all that money that makes chasing women easier. I have love. Love makes it much easier to get the right amazingly hot girl that causes envy in other men. More importantly, it helps keep her.
You can have all the envy and money and aphrodisiacs and status symbols you want. I’ll take love. After all, I have a beautiful woman.
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